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Seeds

by Meyer Pax

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about

For Kristi

lyrics

It shouldn't be this hard
It never meant that much to you anyway
But 12 months, 2 weeks or 18 days
Was too long to keep the "not" in your brain

Where were you
Those countless weekends I spent by the phone,
Counted sheep until the morning showed,
Planted plans but they were never grown?

That's changed, you say I've changed, I say you've changed

I've been searching for an answer
In constants, in decimals, in open signs
In something that's always been by my side
Though I never had the will to make it mine

Longing to stand here,
After another year alive
Just longing to stand for something
To prove it's worth your while

To prove it's worth the drive
To prove it's worth your time
For proof, for proof, for proof,
that we're all longing to feel alive

That's changed, you say I've changed, I say you've changed

We stayed the same

I wish you could see how much I've grown
Who I am and who I'm going to be
I wish you could see what I've become
What these last few years have made me

Because I just need a friend tonight

I need a vial of validation
A set of sight sacrosanct
Left the holy from my heartland
in the earthquake of your abscence
I broke ground to ashes, Phoenician
Colorblind of sunken eyes, I slather
In the memory of your yellow red rosy
Colored glass houses, the stones shatter the sunsets

The EMS was chemical based,
The heart of this city beats under high pressure
Washed facades with futures that will never come to pass
That you'll never come to pass by
This melancholy metropolis
That you'll never see the wholesome growth
The elegy of orienting, Fleur de Lis, cordially drinking morality tapestry

But the diamonds here are shattered shards,
Remnants of dust colored daylights far gone,
The hurt still lives on but the foundation's fine
I built this world in your stead, forgotten that it'd live beyond your time

What's another year alone
When there's no one in this town but your ghost?

credits

released July 11, 2020
Written and arranged by Meyer Pax
Spoken word by Ryan Smalley
Guest vocals by Christina Allbright

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Meyer Pax Flagstaff, Arizona

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